Personal
Not Quite Failure
As you may have figured out, I’ve failed again (mostly). I have not been updating this blog frequently. Long-time readers will know this is, unfortunately, somewhat of a pattern for yours truly. I have good intentions, but alas, time and will have other ideas.
I do love this blog. It’s been a part of my life longer than my son has. It’s my first baby, so to speak. Does that sound weird? Maybe.
The truth is, writing is hard. It’s been hard since the first time I did it and it’s still hard. I also don’t make a living doing it anymore so the financial aspect and incentive to do it is gone. Now it’s “just for the lols” or whatever.
I also just don’t have as much “free” time as I used to have. And, things are pretty bleak in the world these days. I’m sure that also has somewhat of a detrimental effect on my willingness to put “pen to paper” or whatever the kids call it.
And yeah, blah, blah, blah you’ve heard it all before. I know. I know because I’ve said it all before. I can hear myself.
Honestly, I’m doing what I can. I won’t call it “doing my best” because, let’s face it, that ship sailed and hit the proverbial iceberg long ago. Still, I persist. And I guess I always will until I can’t anymore. Even if it takes time and only happens once in awhile.
Who knows, maybe I’ll be writing the next witty bon mot from my new cabin in the outskirts of Vancouver? Or, from the deck of a luxury cruise ship on its way to exciting ports of call? You never know.
Actually, I was on a cruise recently and it was pretty great. Highly recommended. More on that later.
Until then, be kind to each other.
A New Update
So, I won’t be completely abandoning this blog after all. In truth, I kinda miss writing here. Over at Medium (which I like) I do feel the pressure to write things that are more “commercial” so I can get the tiny amount of money my articles generate from readership.
I’m not complaining, mind you, It’s nice to get any money for this shit. Still, complete freedom is nothing to scoff at. This blog is never going away (unless I stop paying for the server it’s hosted on or I die or whatever), so that’s pretty cool.
And nobody can tell me what to say or post on here. That’s pretty cool too. Although, you know what Lord Acton said about absolute power . . .?
Anyway, I’ll see you soon. Oh, and if you’re missing me, you can still find me at Medium, at Instagram and my new home at Mastodon. You should really give Mastodon a try, it’s pretty nice. Very few dickheads. I’d call that a positive.
Be kind to each other. Cheers.
Getting Rid of Stuff and More Updates for 2022
Hi. It’s me again. I hope you all had a merry holidays and a festive new year. We didn’t do much to celebrate or put up decorations or whatever you’re supposed to do.
In fact, we hardly decorated at all. We did put up a tree, which was nice. But we didn’t do much to the outside of the house.
I’m not that disappointed about it. Nobody else was either. It was just something we didn’t do this time.
The kid was happy anyway. Santa still dropped by and he got a lot of stuff he desperately needed (sarcasm, in case you can’t tell) and his mom got a couple things too. So did his grandparents. I got one or two things as well.
But really, I didn’t need much of anything. Sure, I made an Amazon wishlist or whatever, but that was just because H insisted. I didn’t really want anything for Christmas.
I’ve got more “stuff” than I really need.
One of my “problems” is this: If I’m interested in something, a hobby or something work-related, I’ll go deep into it and get the required tools or whatever, to perform the task or function I need to perform. Basically, I want the right tool for the job.
This tends to mean I end up with a lot of stuff. Sure, I use most of it (some of it every day) but it also means other stuff just sits there unused, or is only used sporadically.
Or, let’s face it, not at all after the first day, week, month, etc. That happens too. I burn out on hobbies sometimes, but the stuff is still there. And I’ve been doing this for years. So yeah, I end up with a lot of stuff.
I should really get rid of some of it.
I’m sure to some of you this “problem' doesn’t sound too bad. And I know I’m very fortunate to have this problem at all and to afford to enjoy hobbies and acquire tools as I need/want them. I get that.
But that’s not really the point of this exercise. The point is I have too much stuff and will need to take appropriate steps one of these days before there’s no room left for the rest of us.
I’m joking, mostly. It won’t get that bad. I’m not a hoarder. You’re a hoarder. Anyway . . .
There’s other business.
• The Flickcast podcast is going great. We’ve got over 400 episodes so far! How about that? If you don’t know, I co-host and produce a podcast called The Flickcast.
It’s all about stuff nerds love. It’s fun and you should definitely check it out.
We’re also working on new guests and some changes for the podcast, which I’m excited about. 2022 should be a great year for the show. Fingers crossed.
• I’m still on Twitch Sunday nights playing D&D with the Whiskey & Waffles gang. It’s also fun and you should check it out too. Although, I won’t be on this weekend due to, well, keep reading.
• I’ve also updated my business website and have been offering prints of my photography for sale. A couple people have even purchased prints. I greatly appreciate that.
• And now, to bury the lead (my High School journalism teacher would not be happy with me). Our kid went back to school in-person a little over a week ago and, of course, that means I got something. Not sure if it’s COVID or a cold or what it is, but it’s definately something.
Good luck finding a COVID testing center appointment anywhere in the next few weeks, though. I sometimes forget Austin is in Texas where the GOP and our “governor” are real pieces of shit and seemingly do whatever they can to make this pandemic worse for people. I just want a test. Why are many of the testing centers closed now?
COVID isn’t over, FFS. Maybe we should let testing centers stay open and allow for virtual school options? Probably a good idea.
I did order home test kits. Let’s see if they arrive . . . ever. Maybe I should just wait for the Biden Admin to send out test kits? I’m sure that’s going to happen real soon now. I won’t hold my breath.
How many years has this pandemic been going on and we still don’t have home tests or adequate supplies of masks, etc.? Greatest country in the world? Maybe. But right now, I gotta say, I’m not impressed.
Fortunately, my symptoms of whatever this is are relatively mild. So if it is COVID, it seems my triple dose of Pfizer vaccine is doing its job. Hopefully this trend continues. I think it will.
Everyone in my house is vaccinated to the fullest extent, too. So whatever I have hopefully won’t be a problem for them. Meantime, I’m mostly staying in my office and sleeping in the guest room until I feel better.
And, if I do need to venture outdoors I’m masking with my dwindling supply of N95s and keeping my distance, just like I have been for the last 20 months plus. I do try to minimize my exposure to others as much as I can. But really, I did that before the pandemic too so . . . yeah.
If you’re worried about me, first off, I appreciate it. Thanks very much. I’m sure I’ll be fine. I have the benefit of modern science on my side. Which is nice.
If only everyone (or enough of you) thought so too. This all might have been over sooner. Alas . . .
Okay. Rant over. Thanks for reading. See you on the other side.
Even More Changes
Hello friends. It has been a minute, as it often is. I don’t update here as often as I should and for that I’m profoundly sorry. I really want to, however . . .
I just don’t have that kind of free time anymore, especially now that virtual school is in session again. In short, that’s very time consuming . . . and I’ve only got the one kid. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for those of you who’ve got more than one. Crazy.
That said, I did want to drop in for a few and update you on some recent changes. No, it’s not just that Summer ended and the boy is back in school, it’s more than that. A bit more, at least.
The first is my favorite website, The Flickcast, has finally gotten a much-needed facelift and is looking great. Kudos to to the entire team for getting that up and running. And by the entire team I mean yours truly. As in, I did it all by myself (cue Jamie O’Neal).
I think it looks great. The Twitter, Instagram and Facebook pages have also been updated to reflect the new look. As you do.
We’ve also started uploading the podcast to YouTube, although it’s just the audio at this point. No video yet. We are going to start video soon, however, so keep an eye out for that.
I’ve also made some changes to the Ullrich Media website (mostly moving off of Squarespace and onto our own server) so that’s gonna look a bit different and have less content until I get a chance to finish it up. Doing all the work on The Flickcast took a lot of time, so other things were reprioritized in favor if that.
There’s nothing wrong with Squarespace, by the way. They’re great. I just don’t need to be paying them when I already have a server of my own that can handle the content and traffic. Plus, these days I mostly upload photos to Instagram and Flickr (remember that?). So I don’t necessarily need a full portfolio website right now. Just a place to give out a bit of info.
Moving on. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before but I’ve been playing a lot of D&D the last year or two, especially during the fun COVID times. Three times a week, currently. I mention this not to reinforce the fact that I’m a nerd. That’s a given and should require no further support of proof.
I mention it to showcase the fact I play on Twitch with a great group every Sunday night starting at 6PM Pacific. If you like D&D and enjoy watching people play it (just like the pros do on Critical Role) you should check out our stream. It’s pretty fun.
I’m sure I’ve got more things to talk about but this is already pretty long, so I think I’ll call it for now. But don’t worry, I’ll be back.
Until then, please get your shots and wear a mask. Don’t be an asshole. That’s not too much to ask, is it? I don’t think so.
Also, keep on being kind to each other. It helps. Thanks.
(Oh, I forgot to mention the above photo is one I took during my recent trip to Colorado and points West. It’s not really supposed to look that way but something happened while shooting and the film was exposed that way. But that’s fine, I think it looks kinda cool).
Another 2021 Update
Well, I did it. I am “fully vaccinated.” Yay me.
Two doses of Pfizer and I feel a heck of a lot better about 2021 than I did a few months ago. We’re not out of the woods yet, but we’re on the right path. Hopefully everyone will get their shots. I know a lot of people are, which is great.
If you haven’t yet, what are you waiting for? Do it.
And yes, before you ask, I’m still gonna mask up and socially distance. Just because I’m vaccinated doesn’t mean everyone else is. Plus, I’m still not over the whole quarantine and lockdown thing, so masks make me feel better. I may wear one for a long time. Maybe.
In other news I recently took a road trip through Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona and California. The trip was mostly just to get out of the house after a year and a half in lockdown, but also to do some photography and see some old friends, which I did.
Is it a coincidence the states I travelled through, although scenic and containing several of my friends, also have legalized Cannabis? Spoilers: It wasn’t a coincidence.
Another reason for the trip was research. I’m considering a new business venture and wanted to gather information. I like to gather information and research things. It’s fun for me. These states were the place to do it.
It’s much more difficult to conduct this kind of research in Texas, where I currently live. They’re still living in the dark ages, at least where Cannabis is concerned. Not everyone, to be sure, but many of the people in positions of authority certainly are.
They do allow you to grow hemp in Texas, which is a good start. And I’m going to start doing that soon. But there’s still a long way to go.
My trip was for that kind of research. Business stuff. I also managed to see a lot of friends and hang out, which was great fun. And, of course, visit a few of my favorite spots and also find some new ones.
I miss my old friends. But sadly, I couldn’t see everyone I wanted to see. I just didn’t have the time. H only has so much patience with me being gone, after all.
I’m planning another trip soon so I’ll make sure to include people I missed. I want to see all of you. It’s been too long.
The trip really was great, though. The only real downside to it was all the driving. I don’t mind a road trip and I don’t mind driving, but this trip had a lot of it and I needed to cover a lot of miles in a short time.
The Arizona to Austin drive in one day was particularly brutal. I did it and survived, but it was a lot. Not sure I’m ready to do that one again anytime soon . . . but maybe.
Good thing I had a lot of audiobooks to keep me company in the car. Here’s a few of the one’s I listened to on the trip:
Yearbook By Seth Rogen
Project Hail Mary By Andy Weir
Red Rising By Pierce Brown
Really enjoyed all three of these. Next up for me is the sequel to Red Rising called Golden Son.
As for other things in 2021, I’m still doing The Flickcast podcast and still playing a lot of D&D. I’m even on Twitch every Sunday night playing it. It’s pretty fun.
I’m also just trying to be kind, live my life and be a good father, husband and person. It isn’t easy. Fortunately, I don’t give up easily. I just keep going and keep trying.
And that, my friends, is sometimes all you can do.
Further Updates for 2021
So far, I’m enjoying 2021 much more than 2020. Sure, this new year isn’t without its share of issues. But things are still looking up and still moving in the right direction . . . in my humble opinion at least.
Which brings me to the update promised in the title of this post. Here goes: we’ve started posting new content at The Flickcast. Not just podcasts, mind you, other content too. Fun!
Starting to post content again serves several purposes, not the least of which is getting me into the habit of writing every day. That’s a good thing.
Plus, who knows, maybe some people will go to the site and it will generate a few bucks of income? It could happen. It’s happened before. We have pretty small overhead so almost anything would be good.
That said, if you feel so inclined, head over and read some articles and maybe click on one of the ads? I’d appreciate it.
Speaking of websites, there’s another one you should check out for sure: Hapa Grey. I’m probably biased (I am) but it’s one of my favorites. If you love bargains and deals and knowing about the latest trends, Hapa Grey is the site for you. Check it out.
Other than that, I’m playing a fuckton of D&D (in private and on Twitch), we’re not frozen anymore, don’t have to boil our water, my son hates doing school online, it’s basically been a year since we started quarantine and I almost got my first dose of the COVID vaccine.
Maybe I’ll get it tomorrow? Maybe. Hope you get yours soon too.
Until then, stay safe, wear your mask, social distance and try not to be a dick.
Image: Adobe Stock
Things Are Looking Up
As expected, the inauguration made me feel a lot better about things, life and the future. It’s weird how your life can change quickly and how the feeling of a giant weight pressing down on you for, oh, the last four years can be gone just as quickly.
Yeah, weird.
Yes, even though seeing President Biden and Vice-President Harris sworn in was the cathartic exhale we all needed, we cannot forget poet Amanda Gorman was amazing and almost stole the entire show. I expect to see her again in the future. A lot. If you haven’t watched her at the ceremony, do it now.
And, as expected, with adults running things again, shit is starting to get done already.
What is that I’m feeling? Hope? I guess so.
Happy New Year. Fucking finally.
Photo: REUTERS/Brendan McDermid
Some Thoughts for 2021
Well, it happened. The ball dropped and we’ve been magically transported to the year 2021. Yeah, good for us.
Please don’t mistake my tone, I am happy it’s 2021. As we all know, 2020 was kinda shit and a lot of bad things happened. So, having a “do over” seems like a great idea and something I can get behind.
But I’ve also lived long enough to know things don’t always work out the way you want them to. They sometimes suck and go in a direction you didn’t expect or plan for. Life is funny that way and, over the years, you kinda get used to it. Mostly, anyway.
The big question we need to ask for 2021, though, is will things change, especially given the recent horrible events at the US Capital and the continued unrest and dangerous acts committed by some of our elected officials and our citizens? And if things do change, will they change for the better?
The only answer I can muster at the moment is maybe. Sorry, that’s the best I can do.
But really, can you blame me? If 2020 has taught me anything it’s we can’t rely on our elected officials, or our fellow humans, to just “do the right thing.” Many simply can’t or won’t. And sure, some actually do.
But enough don’t so we’re approaching 400,000 dead from COVID. Not that people doing the wrong thing and not wearing a mask or social distancing caused all of those nearly 400K deaths, but I’d bet simple human selfishness or entitlement was a big factor.
But this is supposed to be more of an “optimistic” post for 2021, so I won’t get into any more of that.
At least there’s finally not one, but two vaccines. That’s a big deal. Yay science! And they do seem to be rolling it out and people are getting vaccinated. The process is not without its problems, which should come as a shock to nobody, but it is happening. Again, that’s good.
Even with all the problems in 2020 and the shit that seems to be starting, or continuing, in 2021, I really do think we have a chance to make this county better and for people to come together. Sure, we’ve been going in absolutely the wrong direction for at least the last four years, so reversing course might be a tall order, but I still think maybe we can do it.
We just have to try really, really hard. I think Biden/Harris is a great step and the Democrats winning Georgia and controlling Congress is also a wonderful outcome. But it’s not enough.
We need to call out this bullshit behavior before it happens. And put a stop to it. We need to confront racists, misogynists, fascists or wanna-be nazis now and set them straight, or destroy their potential influence or bullshit plots, before they can do any harm. Not after armed dickheads storm the Capitol of our county in an aborted coup attempt. That day was pretty bad, but it could have been much worse.
The bad guys are not on the way, they are already here among us. They are in our schools, places of worship, where we work and certainly online. Fortunately, some of their online influence has been curbed, at least for the moment.
And many of the terrorists who stormed the Capital have been apprehended and hopefully will face swift and severe punishment. Those are couple very good steps in the right direction. But we can’t stop there.
Our eyes have been opened to what’s going on in our country. We dare not close them again.
This Is The End
Well, it’s the end of 2020 at least. Almost anyway. None too soon, if you ask me. And since this is my site, if you don’t ask me, I’ll just go ahead and ask myself.
That’s just how this works, see?
What a pain 2020 has been, right? I don’t need to go into it here because you know what I’m talking about. Still, seriously, fuck this year.
And while I’m at it, fuck people who don’t believe in science, compassion or simple human decency. And fuck people who try to take advantage of the poor or the weak or try to oppress or persecute people based on their race, religion, gender identity, or for any other reason. It’s not right. None of it. Stop fucking doing it.
That was a lot of “fucks” and I apologize. I’m just kinda angry about a lot of stuff right now. More than usual. I’m also very tired. You can probably relate.
In fact, if I had to sum up this year in one word, I’d say “tired.” As in, I’m fucking tired. 2020 is the year that never seemed to end and continuously threw one horrible thing after another at all of us. I don’t know about you, but . . . I. Am. Tired.
I’m tired of have trouble getting to sleep or sleeping through the night. I’m tired of worrying about what our country is turning into, or what it was all along and we just didn’t notice. I’m tired of worrying about the thousands of people dying every day while thousands more call a pandemic a “hoax” and refuse to take basic precautions like wearing a mask. I’m tired of the indifference, incompetence and seemingly wanton acts of cowardice and malice from our elected officials.
I’m tired of it. All of it. I’ll bet you are too.
And speaking of “anti mask” dickheads, fuck those selfish assholes too.
Perhaps it’s a character flaw but I have a lot of trouble comprehending people who just don’t give a shit about anyone but themselves, especially during something like COVID. Like I get you’re a selfish prick but maybe, just this once, can you do something for someone other than yourself and wear this thing over your fucking pie hole to protect others from your stupidity and anti-science bullshit? Once COVID is gone, feel free to return to your previous behavior. I guess. Thanks?
Now don’t get me wrong, I have a healthy ego. Ask anyone.
But my ego doesn’t replace common decency and regard for my fellow humans. As in, I do care if you live or die so I’m going to do my part to help stop the spread of COVID by wearing a mask, washing my hands, keeping my distance and staying at home most of the time.
I do it because I give a shit, not just about myself, but about all of you. Even you fuckers who don’t deserve it and wouldn’t do the same for me. It’s called being a good citizen and good human. Look it up.
I think being a good citizen and a good human is a good thing. You may not agree. If you don’t, well, I guess fuck you too.
I realize this all may seem pretty negative, and some of it is, frankly. But don’t despair. All is not lost. We have some hope, as I mentioned in my last post.
Compassionate, intelligent adults seem to be in charge again. Thank the gods. Will it help? Probably. Do we still have a long way to go? You bet your ass we do. Do we have a chance? Yep. I think we have a good chance.
Let’s really try not to fuck it up.
Head Down 'Til 2021
It seems the optimistic tone of my previous post about 2020 was a wee bit premature. Because, yeah, COVID 19 pandemic and all that.
So, now things suck. And we’ve been quarantined at home for a few months. And we can’t go to work, get a haircut, go to the movies or generally be within six feet of others without a mask or even greater forms of personal protection. And it seems things are gonna legit continue to suck for quite some time.
And yes, I don’t feel great about it most of the time. And yes, that’s a lot of “and” at the start of sentences. I get that. Did I mention the pandemic? I’m not exactly at my best. And I’m sure most of you aren’t either.
But you know what? That’s okay. It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling and to pretty much deal with this shit however you need to, short of hurting others, or yourself, of course.
Even though things look bleak, one thing is for sure, we will get through it. The pandemic will end. A vaccine will be developed and administered and life will get back to “normal.”
Will it be the same normal we were used to before? Nope. Might things still kinda suck for a long time? Maybe. Will it start to suck a bit less as time goes on? I sure hope so. I think it will suck for some time after but I also think we will start to feel better and eventually be okay.
It will just take some time. And that’s cool. I’m not going anywhere. And neither should you. Let’s just wait it out together. Okay? Cool.
And now I’m done. Try to be kind to each other while we’re in the middle of this shit. And heck, why not try it after we’re on the other side too?
Couldn’t hurt.
Happy 2020
Well, friends, we made it. It’s the new year and with it new opportunities to do things right. Or, better. Or, whatever. You get the idea. It’s new, okay?
With all that’s going on in the world, and I won’t get too much into that now, I admit I’ve taken some time to reflect and maybe practice a bit of what the kids call “self care.” In other words, I’ve taken some time off from this site and, to be honest, from a lot of other things too.
But now, here I am. Ready? Cool, let’s get to it.
I’m not a person who makes resolutions when new years roll around. I think it only leads to eventual disappointment when you can’t keep them. I do, however, try to think of one or two things I would like to do differently, or be better at, in the new year.
I want to expand my skills and knowledge as much as possible. And I think that’s a good thing. Not just this year, but every year. Every day, if possible.
So, what are the areas I would like to improve in 2020? Well, glad you asked. For one, I’m going to stop hiding. I don’t know a better word for it, so I’ll just use that one. I’ve been hiding.
It’s not like I’ve withdrawn from society completely and am currently filling jars with my urine and stacking them neatly in the corner of my bedroom. I still go places and see people and whatever. I’m just not as engaged in all of it as I used to be and I definitely don’t do it as often.
In fact, I find myself trying to avoid it a lot of the time, for no real reason other than I’d rather stay home and being around other people is a lot of work. You have to talk and listen and pretend to care about what they’re saying. Who has time for that? I’m exaggerating, of course. But you get the idea.
I’ve also stopped exercising and most of the work on my various writing and photography projects. My book has been at about 45000 words for the last six months, at least. I need to get back to it and back out to the trails to hike or, at the very least, clear the clothes hanging on the treadmill and walk a bit. Gotta move, man!
There’s a lot of reasons for the hiding, but let’s just say it’s a lot of personal shit and I won’t really get into it. The real take away here is I’m aware of the problem and I’m going to try to fix it.
No. I’m going to fix it. Yoda doesn’t like it when you say “try,” and he was a Jedi master, so I guess I’ll listen to him.
The second area I’m going to put in some word on is dealing with anger and frustration. The current situation we have in this country has caused me a great deal of frustration and anger. I see things going in a direction I don’t think is healthy and I often feel powerless to do anything about it. I’m sure many of you feel the same way.
I don’t know exactly how to fix the country (cough cough impeachment cough cough) but I do know I can deal with my anger and frustration a lot better than I do. So, I will.
New 2020 Chris will not let things get to him as much and will not dwell on the total asshats currently in charge in Washington. Or with the idiots on social media spouting their bullshit or with any random stranger (or friend for that matter) saying stupid shit.
I will be tolerant and discuss issues in an intelligent and adult manner. Or, I’ll block their ass. But whatever I do, I’ll do it calmly and without frustration or anger. I’ll be fucking Zen about the whole damn thing. I know it won’t be easy, but it needs to happen.
Well, that’s it. This was fun, at least for me. I hope you got something out of it too.
Who knows, perhaps you’ll join me in selecting one or two areas of personal change for yourself? Or you can just go through 2020 being the same asshole you always were.
Either way, we’re cool.
By Way of An Update
Hello all. My most recent plan was to start to write here frequently again. As you can plainly see, I was not entirely successful.
However, I do intend to give it another try. I’ve been working on a couple other writing projects and those have taken up what little creative energy I have. Now that I’m at a certain point with those, I can take a step back and focus a bit more on this site, which I’ve been posting at for over fourteen years now.
Fourteen years? Damn. That’s a long time.
In truth, I’m not even sure that’s completely accurate. I think it’s actually been longer. But still, fourteen years is a good stretch, so I won’t worry too much about it.
Anyway, stay tuned and I’ll try to be better about writing things for this site. Or, at the very least, put up some funny links or a cat video once in awhile. People still love that shit, right?
Going Analog (Pt. 3): Shooting Film
In the two previous installments of this series I talked about my love of all-things analog and some of the tools and gear I like to use to get things done. My love of analog also extends into many other aspects of my life, especially the creative endeavors I pursue. A major one of these creative endeavors is photography.
It shouldn’t surprise you to learn I use film for the majority of my photography. Sometimes I do use a digital camera or an iPhone, especially when I’m photographing my fast-moving toddler. But most of the time it’s film, film, film.
My history with film goes back a long way. Back to the days when digital was just a word and not the revolutionary technology it is today. Back when film was the only option.
My first camera was an Olympus OM1, which is an SLR that uses 35mm film. From the moment I took it out of the box, loaded it with film and pressed the shutter to make my first photo, I was hooked. Since that day I’ve made photos for countless personal and professional projects and have many, many notebooks full of negatives and boxes full of slides. I also took quite a few photo classes, developed my own negatives and made my own prints in a darkroom.
Then, digital came along.
As much as I love analog, I also love gadgets and technology. So, as any good tech aficionado would, I embraced digital and jumped in with both feet.
My first digital camera was a Kodak DC240. By today’s standards, the DC240 is laughably antiquated. But it made photos and I could see them instantly on the little screen on the back of the camera.
I didn’t have to wait for them to be developed and printed. In fact, I could download them to my computer and print them myself at home. Instant gratification. I have to admit, at the time, I thought it was pretty amazing. In truth, I still kinda do.
But as I explored digital, and made thousands and thousands of photos, I came to realize something: I wasn’t enjoying photography anymore. Also, the quality of my images had declined. Not the resolution, sharpness or that kind of “quality.” Those were ever-increasing as technology got better and better.
It was something else: my photos just weren’t good. Or very interesting. Or very creative. They were more like generic snapshots with no real thought or intent behind them. Because I could take so many at a time I usually just held the shutter button down and figured I’d get at least one or two “good ones.”
Because it was easier, faster and I didn’t have to think much about focus, exposure or anything else, I pretty much stopped thinking about my photos at all. I stopped caring and just became a button pusher. And my photos suffered for it.
Things went on like this for quite a while until something happened: I found two of my film cameras. They had been packed away in a box several moves ago and forgotten. Seeing them for the first time in years, I was intrigued. So, I did some research and discovered film was still around.
I unpacked the cameras and took a closer look. They seemed to work just fine so I bought a roll of film, loaded one of them and made some photos. I didn’t have any way to process the film at home, having sold my darkroom equipment long ago, so I took it to one of the only film labs left in Austin, Holland Photo.
I thought I’d be annoyed or impatient at having to wait to see the photos, but something else happened instead: I got excited. Excited to see how they turned out. The anticipation became part of the fun. Then I got them back.
I’ll be honest, most of them weren’t that great. Going back to a manual camera after years of auto everything was a humbling experience. But even with the focus and exposure issues, there was still something about them. I liked them. Even the bad ones.
Plus, I had actually enjoyed the experience of taking the photos. It had been really fun. And I wanted to do it again. So, I bought more film and made more photos.
With each roll I got a little better and enjoyed it more. I took my time and thought a lot about exposure, focus and composition. It was almost as if I was learning photography for the first time. And as I went along I noticed something: the end result, my photos, started to get a lot better.
Before I go on I should mention I don’t think I’m an amazing photographer. But I can tell an “ok” photo from a good one and a great one from an amazing work of art. Most of mine fall into the “good” category and I’m happy with the results I get most of the time. Could I improve? Absolutely.
I’m working on it pretty much every day. And that’s part of what I’m talking about here: I want to get better. Photography, like many other kinds of art, is a process. With film, I love the process a hell of a lot more than I did with digital.
With film making a comeback (or at least it seems like it is) people who use it talk a lot about why they prefer it. They say it’s the process or they enjoy slowing down and taking time to make the images. I agree with that. There’s something about the way light strikes film, causes a chemical reaction and, after processing, an image to appear. To me, that’s the very essence of analog.
I also like that I can’t just hold the button down and hope for one or two “good ones.” Film costs money. Processing cost money. Scanning costs money. Every time I press the shutter it costs money.
I need to make the photos count. I need to take my time and do I good job and only press the button when I have exactly what I want, or as close to it as possible. This has also improved my photography.
Plus, I just like the “look” of film. The aesthetic of it. It’s what I grew up with. My perception of reality was shaped, to a large degree, by seeing the world depicted on film in photographs, on tv and in movies. To me, the world looks more “real” when you see it on film.
Who knows? Maybe I would have rediscovered my love for photography if I’d never found those film cameras? Maybe I would have figured all of this out if I’d keep shooting digital? I don’t really think so.
I believe it was film that helped me find my love and passion for photography again. Although, to be perfectly honest, I don’t really think about how I got here all that much, unless I’m writing about it like I am now. I just go out and try to make the best photos I can.
Don’t worry, I’m not trying to convince you to shoot film. Nor am I saying digital is bad. This is what works for me. If you enjoy or use digital, by all means keep doing it. There’s many situations where it absolutely makes sense. I’m not trying to get you to change.
As for me, I’ll keep shooting film as long as I can.
Cameras
I primarily shoot 35mm film so my two main cameras are the Leica M6 and the Nikon FM2n. I usually keep the M6 loaded with black & white and the Nikon loaded with color. I love both of these cameras and could see myself being happy with either as my only camera if I had to pick just one.
First, let’s talk about the Leica M6. It’s an amazing piece of gear that works flawlessly, considering it’s over twenty years old. Much has been written about Leica, and the M6 in particular, so I won’t get into a full review here.
In brief, the Leica M6 is a rangefinder camera made in Germany. It’s smaller than an SLR and quieter, mostly because it doesn’t have a mirror that has to get out of the way every time you press the shutter. A traditional SLR has a mirror (and a prism) because you are actually looking through the lens while composing and focusing. The mirror and prism allow you to do this.
Then, when you press the shutter release, the mirror flips up out of the way so the film can be exposed to light when the shutter opens and closes. Being a rangefinder, the Leica doesn’t do this because you are composing and focusing through a different set of glass then what you take the photo with. Not having a mirror and prism also means the camera (and the lenses) can be smaller. It may sound complicated, but it works really well.
The Leica is also quiet because of its shutter. The shutter is made of cloth, not metal like the Nikon, so it moves almost silently. All of this, the size, the weight and the near silent operation, make the Leica an ideal camera for intimate situations where something bigger or noisier might be an issue.
It’s also a pleasure to shoot. The size and weight make it easier to carry around for long periods of time, as I often do when I’m on the streets shooting. Focusing it is also quite easy with its split image system. I find it a bit easier to focus quickly than the Nikon. Plus, it has a meter, which is quite accurate. Although, I don’t use it very often.
The Nikon is different from the Leica but still a great camera. It’s an SLR so it’s bigger, a bit heavier and has a metal shutter. It’s louder too. But, it’s pleasure to shoot. The controls make sense and the meter is accurate and easy to understand. I’ve made some of my favorite images with the Nikon.
Like I said, I love both of these cameras. They each have their quirks, but it’s like having two children: I could never pick a favorite. Fortunately, I won’t need too.
I can just use them until they break or I can’t see well enough to focus or my hands don’t work well enough to load the film. In truth, both of these cameras will likely outlast me. They are quality tools that should last a lifetime (or longer).
One potential drawback to both of these cameras, at least for some, is they’re both completely manual. This means you set the ISO (only once when you first load the film), the shutter speed, the aperture and you focus. Then, you press the shutter release. After that, you need to advance the film manually in order to take another picture. No auto advance here.
In other words, you do all the work. If you’ve been used to just pointing and shooting, you’ll likely have a bit of a learning curve if you decide on one of these cameras. And yes, when you’re just starting out you’ll likely forget to advance the film and miss a great photo opportunity. It happens.
Both cameras also have a TTL meter, which can be useful. But I don’t really need one. I’ve seen enough lighting situations and I know these cameras and the film I use to be able to set the exposure without a meter. I’m usually dead on or pretty close.
I also shoot mostly black & white, which has a lot of latitude, so that helps with exposure issues. If you’re getting back into film after a long absence or just starting out, black & white is a great choice. It’s more forgiving of mistakes and also less expensive than color. I use both Ilford HP5+ and Kodak Tri-X. Try them both and see which you prefer.
I’ve also gotten much better at manual focusing after years of auto. These days, I can pretty much nail that too. Of course, it helps to have excellent lenses and a larger depth of field to make sure what you want in focus is in focus. But really, I worry more about composition than sharpness. Sharpness is overrated.
I won’t get into a lot of “how to take photos” stuff in this article. That’s something for another time. There’s also plenty of articles out there to explain basic photography, Zone Focus, Zone Exposure or the “Sunny 16” rule. That said, if you have questions, feel free to ask. I’ll do what I can to help.
Turning to lenses, I only have three at the moment. I used to have quite a few, but I sold them. I have two for the Leica and one for the Nikon.
For the Leica, I almost always prefer the 35mm focul length. At the moment, that means the Zeiss Biogon T 2.8. I also have a Leica 50mm Summicron 2.0, mostly for portraits.
For the Nikon, it’s all 50mm all the time in the form of a Nikon 1.8. I prefer a 50mm lens on an SLR. It just seems right to me.
The truth is you don’t really need a lot of prime lenses, or a big zoom, to make good photos. When I go out to shot I have one lens on each camera. If I want to get closer, I take a few steps closer. If I want to get wider, I just move back a little.
If you only have one lens you never have to think about what you would do with a different one. You just think about making the best image you can with what you have.
I’m a big believer in this. Do the best with what you have.
I wasn’t always this way. I loved gear and bought a lot of it. But now I know that was part of the problem. I was looking at the gear to make my photos better.
I thought fancy tools (and a lot of them) would make me a better photographer. I was wrong.
The gear can’t help you. Not really. It might give you an advantage in some situations, but it can also get in the way.
The photos I take now with a manual film camera and one lens are a lot better, and more satisfying creatively, than they were when I had the most expensive, coolest gear you could buy.
Limits are good for you. Don’t be afraid of them. They make you try harder. They make you care more.
And I do.
The Family Way
It’s been awhile. Yes, I know, you’ve missed me. I get it. I’ve missed you too. We used to have a pretty good relationship. And then I went and messed it up by not being around for, what, almost a year? Sorry about that.
It doesn’t really seem like its been that long. But time flies. Oh yes it does. In case you’ve forgotten what’s happened recently, here’s a bit of a refresher. I left LA/California and now live in Austin, TX. I’m a father. It’s a boy. He’s three. I’m semi-retired and stay home with him, which basically makes me a stay-at-home dad.
I love my life. I do, however, sometimes miss work. It was fun (mostly) and I’ll probably do it again one of these days. But I can’t complain, my kid is awesome and I get to watch him grow up every day. I’m very fortunate to be able to do that.
Also, I still do a podcast called The Flickcast with Joe Dilworth, my awesome co-host. And I take photographs, make things from wood and occasionally write. That pretty much catches us up.
Well, there is one other (pretty big) thing that’s happened since we last got together. As some of you may know, I’m adopted. Both of my adoptive parents are no longer alive and I miss them every day. I especially miss them when I want to ask parenting questions, but pretty much the rest of the time too.
I realize I’m far from perfect, but I think they did a pretty good job with me considering how much of a pain I was growing up. Spoiled only child and all that. Yes, I was quite the troublemaker. But in the end, I think I turned out okay. I only hope I can do the job half as well as they did. I’ll keep working on it.
But that’s not the big news. This big news is I’ve found my biological mother. Well, actually, H found her. H is good with stuff like that. But found she is and contact we have had. Quite a bit, actually. She’s great and we’ve discussed all sorts of things.
I’ve been to see her twice so far and plan on going again soon. I’m looking forward to it. But wait, as Steve Jobs used to say, there’s one more thing (at least). I’ve also got a brother and sister. And a niece. I know, right? A whole new family I never knew about.
I’ve spent time with my new Bro and Sis too. They’re terrific people and I look forward to getting to know them more. Actually, my sister, her husband and their daughter (the niece I mentioned) just visited us. And yes, a good time was had by all.
Just when I think life can’t get any better . . .
Moving. No, Not That Kind
Hello all. You may notice some changes around here. You’re very perceptive. I’ve relocated this website to new hosting.
Nothing against Media Temple or anything, I’ve just decided to make a change. So, from now on this site will be running on servers powered by Mac Highway.
I like the fact that Mac Highway is all Macs and also gets all of its energy from wind power. That’s pretty cool.
Anyway, things might be a bit bumpy until everything is done, so bear with me. Thanks.
Go East Young(ish) Man
You know the old saying “Be careful what you wish for?” Well, I’m experiencing a bit of that now.
Fortunately, what I wished for in this case is pretty cool, so the fact it’s going to come true isn’t really a bad thing. Actually, it’s a really good thing.
I could go on like this for a bit longer, being all cryptic and such, but many of you will start to wonder “What the hell is he talking about?” or even begin to wander off and look for shiny objects. So, I won’t keep you in suspense any longer: I am leaving the Los Angeles/Orange County Metroplex and moving to Austin.
Yes, that’s right, the one in Texas. H got a great work opportunity, and I can do what I do from almost anywhere with an Internet connection, so we’re packing up our crap in a giant truck and heading East. Well, in truth, movers will be packing our crap in a giant truck.
I don’t rent a U-Haul and move myself anymore. Those days are in the past, along with my healthy back.
And what about Max, you may wonder? How does he feel about the pending change of address? Well, he doesn’t really get a vote. But if he did, I’m sure he’d agree this is a great opportunity for the family and be all for it.
But like I said, he doesn’t get a vote. He’s just a baby, after all. That would be silly.
As for me, I’m excited about this new adventure and the possibilities it brings. I’m also excited about potentialy having a bit more space. Don’t get me wrong, I like our current house. It’s just a bit close to the neighbors for my taste.
So, we will be looking for a new place in Austin with a bit more land around it. Who knows, we may even end up in the country? Could happen. But don’t tell H, I’m not sure she would go for it.
Being born and raised in California, I will miss a lot of things about “The Golden State.” But the truth is, there’s also a lot of things I won’t miss. I also know Austin and Texas aren’t perfect either and will likley have their fair share of annoyances.
But that’s okay. I like a challenge and I’m ready for it. And no, I won’t be buying cowboy boots or a ten gallon hat.
Well, maybe a hat.
iPhone vs. DSLR
I love photography. In fact, I’ve been taking pictures since I was given my first camera (an Olympus OM 1) in the sixth grade. Yes, that long.
Over the years I had a succession of film cameras but made the switch to digital about ten years ago. Since then I’ve pretty much had Nikon DSLRs and, on occassion, Canon point and shoots. I’ve captures thousands of images with those cameras . . . and some of them are even pretty good. Well, a few at least.
Then, the iPhone came along. It was a phone, a way to send text messages, a web browsing device and, amazingly enough, a pretty good camera.
And over the years the iPhone cameras have gotten better and better. Now, they’re really good.
Of course, people still use a DSLR. I do, especially when shooting Max. He moves pretty fast and the quick focus of a DSLR and Nikon lenses (especially the amazing 50mm 1.4) comes in handy. But most of the time, I find myself using the iPhone 6 to take photos.
I’m not alone. People are using the iPhone a lot more every day to take photos. But how do the DSLR and the iPhone compare? This handy infographic (made by the fine folks at Twenty 20) answers that question and more. Check it out below.