Whatnot
The Saga Continues
It amuses me when people post to their personal websites/blogs that they are not, in fact, dead. I’ve even done it myself. Probably more than once. Hey, here it is again: I’m not dead.
See, that wasn’t so bad.
The truth it I’ve been in a bit of a funk and haven’t had the motivation to write anything. I’ve been a bit down. A little on the low side. Bummed out. Sad, even. Why, you ask?
Well, I’ll tell you. It’s not my death that’s the problem, it’s my mom’s. Yes, you read that right, my mom passed away. It’s actually been a couple months now and I’ve had a bit of time to try to get used to it.
But if I’m being completely honest, I’m really not used to it . . . and I don’t think I ever will be. I think that’s okay though. I don’t think you’re supposed to get used to it or get over it.
You just learn to live with it.
On that note I’ve been trying to think of a fitting tribute to my mom and, perhaps, write something here that will do her justice. So far, I’ve pretty much failed.
What I can do is tell a story.
It was 1979 and the movie version of one of my favorite TV series, Star Trek, was finally coming to the big screen. It was called Star Trek: The Motion Picture and it would open on that Friday in December to mediocre reviews and somewhat disappointing box office.
But STtMP’s relative success is not really the point of this particular trip into the past.
The point is my mom let me skip school on that Friday, drove me to the theater and waited in line with me from the early morning until we were finally seated and where, in spite of the reviews, I had a great movie-going experience.
That’s the kind of mom she was.
Sure, some could argue allowing your child to skip school to see a movie isn’t the best example of parenting. But that doesn’t really matter. What matters is she encouraged me … in whatever direction I wanted to go.
Even if she didn’t exactly understand, or share, my passions, she helped me figure out ways to indulge and pursue them. She was always there for me whenever I needed her and whenever I wanted to try something new. No judgements, few questions, just support and love.
Even when I made mistakes, she was there for me. That happened quite a bit, as it does when you’re growing up. But with her help I learned from those mistakes and became better for it.
These are the things a parent does. It’s what my mom did. I would not be who I am today without her. I only hope I end up being half the parent she was.
It’s a lot to live up to.
Decisions, Decisions
I really hate making decisions in most situations. Often, I have good reasons for choosing either option I’m deciding between. Sadly, I’m in the midst of such a quandry at the moment and not sure how to proceed.
Over the years I’ve discovered that I have a lot of interests. Sometimes, those many interests hinder my focus on one thing in particular. After all, there’s only so many hours in the day and I only have so much energy so. . . you get the idea.
I’m going to be soliciting advice from people who’s opinions I trust and will arrive at some sort of decision sooner rather than later. That’s my process and I guess it’s pretty much the best way to go. I don’t like it but I’ll do it.
Although, I really shouldn’t feel too bad about having to make these kinds of important decisions. It could be so much worse.
I’m very lucky that I even get a choice at all.